I don't know what I want as far as a job. I am trying different postings to get something other than the job I have. This isn't a job where there is growth either in skills, status, or cash. I'm in this job because I needed this job at the time, not because I wanted it. Part of me doesn't want to take a job because of the need to get out, because of my fear of being as or more miserable as I am now. I'm learning on my own new things that I think could help my skill set, like Salesforce and actually studying to become a notify public. I don't know what exactly I want to do for a job but I just know I want regular office hours, a job where I'm not standing all the time, and a job where I don't feel subservient to people, like the clientele of the company I work for now.
I will say that some good has happened. My resume is getting read and responded to, good or bad its getting attention at least the most recent version is on my resume page here ). For example, I had a phone interview on Wednesday. The person conducting it asked for Tuesday but I asked for Wednesday so I'm not talking on the phone at work. First I hate phone interviews. I find them awkward and you can't get any context of what is said. This interview, to be honest, felt like it was a favor to just see what happens. Here's the rundown as to why I don't think this company took me seriously and was trying to test or sabotage me:
-The woman called me at 3 pm, the agreed time was 3:30 pm. I could have raised an issue about it, but I was nice (I never learned the right times to be nice or raise hell).
-It was on speakerphone, which means either she was doing something else besides writing down my answers/notes or others were listening to the call. Plus the speakerphone they used was garbled and sounded like she was sitting next to an open window or in a public place due to the background noise. I had to have her repeat a lot of what she was saying.
-She clearly was reading a list of questions that she was reading from. They were standard questions that I expected to a point, but they were delivered in a cadence that was as energetic as she was reading survey to me. She clearly was going through motions that put me off. I did get to hear her human side for a few seconds when I would throw curveball answers, but it was just robotic and devoid of energy.
It wasn't great, and I probably could have done better answering the questions but how the whole thing went down just gave me a bad vibe. My wife thinks I'm crazy and I sabotage myself in these things, but I'm so sensitive to not move into another bad job from what I have now.
So I continue my search. As I said, there are positives despite not getting hired somewhere else yet (despite the reports everyone is hiring), I'm onto something with my resume where it is getting responded to. Any reaction is better than none. I am getting bolder in reaching out like cold contacting recruiters on places like Linkedin. So some small but positive stuff.