by Peter Marus

Since I last posted, I got some positive news career-wise, but that won't all be official until January. On the other hand I got told something that at first was hard to take, but after some thought I have to accept what was decided no matter how much I think it sucks. See, that stupid yin-yang theory worked again!!! See, a sound theory if you ask me.

Well Turkey Day is over, and despite the rain, it was a good day. I usually try not to look into the past of think about the future too much anymore (seriously, what's the point, neither one you have control over), but today I was thinking about the future. I was at my Aunts house today to see her and some of m cousins, and it hit me how every year that goes by is one less year that will have these people. Not in a negative way, but it's just fact that as time goes by, people go away and you will not have these moments with them anymore.

This fact really hit me hard when I went to dinner with my mom and sister to the Island and my aunts house. I was sitting there looking around at my other relatives and realizing a couple things. First, I miss my dad and he really had a lot of patience with my family members. This is the first Thanksgiving where he wasn't here. The second thing I realized is that my family is getting old, and that it's not going to be long until this tradition of going to my aunts house is over for some reason or another. See a lot of my family are at least 15 years older than me, and they all have their own families and soon they will have their own traditions. It's a hell of a thing to have hit you while you are eating dinner. When all this all came to me, I realized that I shouldn't be upset at these family functions over little things, and just remember these times, since they may never happen again.

Sorry for the bummer of a post, but it's hard to get into the festive mood this time of year, between the almost constant darkness due to the winter and that this is about the same time my father died, and it's still surreal that I am the “man' here, when I come home and I only see my mom and sister. When they need help I have to be the man and do it, and sometimes that's hard to really take in. Today for example it was odd to see the living room with my family today and NOT see my dad sitting there with his charm and making my family smile and laugh. I guess this is something that will go away, and I am sure Christmas is going to not be that bad since I went through it last year without him, but then again I was going through it still in some sort of shock.

Anyway, enough of me going on here. The point I have is that no matter ow pissed you get at your family this holiday season, be thankful you even have family to enjoy the holidays with. Whatever anxiety you have with your family, nuclear or extended, let it go for a day and just chill out. When you stop and think, you will see all the anxiety and crap means nothing and holidays should be a time to enjoy life.