by Peter Marus

     I'm the best man at a wedding this September, and as cool as it is, I think weddings are overdone.  I'm watching the future husband and wife planning this thing and all I (and the groom at many points) are dollar signs flying around.  That's why if I do get married, it's going to be simple, and hopefully not cost more than 500-1000 bucks:


  1.  the guestlist will be limited to no more than 100 total!!!  it should be limited to family and close friends.  Anyone else want to send gifts/money they can
  2. the actual wedding/reception will be done in one place (this is how this wedding in Sept is set up) it lowers the cost of limos and church.  plus, easier to access the alcohol.  Best place would be at a large house with a big backyard/patio.
  3. cash bar, cash bar cash bar (especially if it's at my house, it's called recouping my loss)!!!! luckily it's open at the wedding i'm going to be at...WHOO HOO!!
  4. no fancy flowers or crap like that, something simple
  5. wedding photographer, no video-who watches that tape after the first week other than to blackmail a relative after his drunken rant about how hot the bride's maid is...
  6. no DJ's I hate them, they force people to do stupid things, and they cost money...a stereo and a stack CDs is good enough
  7. cheap champaign, nothing fancy.  No need for Cristal or anything, this isn't a P. Diddy video!!


Now, my ideal wedding, would be in the back of my house with reception on the first floor, where all there would be are 3 kegs, some chips and pretzels.  the actual meal would be done on the grill outside and it would be make your own burgers or dogs.  There would also be the option of chicken, but again, grill your own.  seating would be wherever your ass fits, and any dancing would be done in the middle of the rooms, where also any fights will take place.