19 more days until I get to be happy and sad at the same time!!!

by Peter Marus

If I seem a little down or in a perpetual bad mood for the rest of the month there's a reason. August is the month were my birthday falls in....I know what you are saying "why the hell would he be unhappy if his birthday is coming up soon?" Well, it sucks and is happy at the same time. Happy that it is my birthday, but sucks because it's also the day I quit my last "real" job. I remember quitting it because I was so fed up beting treated like an "outsider" and being a victim to in-house polititcs, and all this going on affected the quality of my work (I believe I went over this in another entry). Since then, I've spent my birthdays in a bitter, bad mood. I'm ususally in this mood because of the fact that I chose to leave my job and I thought that I'd have no problem finding a job in the City and could get "back in the saddle" again living in the City. Well things didn't turn out that way, and usually I can be found in my bedroom on my birthday under my covers hoping the day goes by fast. Maybe things will be different this time around, but that's what I said last year and the year before.
Anyway other than that, I've been busting my ass getting my resumes and crap out to people. I got a copy of my sister's listing of doctors under her health insurance, and have started sendng resumes to different doctors in there. It was really interesting today trying to get my cover letter typed up. I don't know if it's because I'm so hard on myself, or I may have writers block, but all the stuff Iwas writing I thought sucked. This went on for over an hour, and at one point I just decided to use what I had (changing adderesses on it to make it seem more personal) and just send it out. I figured it's a snowballs' chance in hell anyway, so might as well get it over with, send it out, and see what happens. Also applied for a cahsier's position at a drug store in my neighborhood, but since I only speak English, there's a chance I won't even get an interview....
Now I think I'll go under my Penn State blanket and get some sleep...gotta get up early to start this cycle over again