I am not anyone's sidekick, or any second-rate chump. I've realized this more and more the past couple weeks and those who think I'm second rate is in for a huge disappointment. Sucks for them but they will have to deal with it. I will not be put in a position where I am looked at in that way, I will make sure I won't. I rather be looked at as an asshole than a second-rate chump. I also think I should do/live more in a way a Reverend should live, since I am one. I do think I do a good job doing that, where I believe I do the right thing for myself and others, but I think I can do more. I need to get my impatience and anger under control. That I think is where I fail as a man. I need to find a way to channel that energy into something constructive. I plan on taking closers in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, where maybe the discipline and lessons of that martial art will help me, on top of getting a workout. I also am trying to find other creative ways to work through the stress. I have an app on my iPad that is a draw g program. It's something to put my mind to, even though it looks like something a five year old would make, it's more than what YOU are doing. Most of all, I am trying to put myself into more positive situations and thoughts. That's something g I need to do a lot more to get the stress level down. Anger is something that is not good. I have towards many people, and I think that is ok as long as I don't dwell on it. Any other anger that is theta in ones life should be taken care of quickly, and not made to fuel one's life. It's not healthy, and as I am learning, foolish. If you choose to live this way, it will feel good at first, but it'll lead to nothing good. It becomes an addiction, where you'll be chasing that "high" from getting that anger out. After that high is gone, you're left with the damages and pain getting that high has caused. It's not worth it in the end. This is what I am trying to stop myself from falling into again. Tough, and I seem to fail every time I try to change, but I won't give up. I'll keep running into that wall until I get through it, or smash my skull open trying. That's the key one should live their lives by: aim for what you want, work hard to achieve that goal, but at the same time enjoy every moment of the ride. If you don't enjoy the journey and the challenges it brings, it's not the path you want to be on. Be blessed, and remember there is someone watching you-and not only the shadow government that really runs things.