Quitting, dream job, pathetic cry for help

by Peter Marus

The past three days have been somewhat surreal for myself.  Friday I quit my job.  I gave no notice and no problem saying that.  It's something that was months in the making.  I was put on probation several days earlier, due to my apparent lack of production.  I was going to have a review in 60 days to determine if I was to remain on probation, taken off, or fired outright.  Reason for this lack of production is that when in the past two months the workload exploded, where the arbitration association would give us notice that cases were filed on the 27th day of the 30 we have to review (in other words, the other attorney file something, the arb. association wouldn't tell us until almost the deadline-despite their claims they gave us notice right away),  and when the other parts of the company are not cooperative in getting these things done.  It was getting unbearable and no matter what I did, it was always wrong and somehow my fault despite it or may not be.  So Friday I went into work, found notes and emails form parts of the company in an aggressive tone that was really people trying to sabotaging me to get me out, I chose rather than give them the satisfaction of them firing me, I quit.  I wrote my resignation letters to the supervisor, HR head, and my departments second in command, put my id on supervisor's desk with the letters, and walked out.  


So I jumped off the cliff, and have no safety net under me.  I wanted to leave later on after saving up money, but my body was telling me to leave now.  The past several weeks, I had constant indigestion, headaches, insomnia, and really angry and aggressive form Sunday night until the next Friday night.  People were noticing my mood and showed concern.  I honestly felt I was heading to something really bad, and something had to change.  I rather be broke and happy, than employed, miserable and unhealthy.   I feel good now, a lot calmer, and happy.  Now I'm taking this week to redo my resume and cover letter to try to get my job as soon as possible .  I could just get a security guard job, but I am trying to fine MY job.  


My dream job honestly is a job where I am not in a corporate environment where everything is micro-managed, and when I do a job and finish it, it's finished.  What I do wouldn't go through several people and channels where the chance of error is there, and somehow it's my responsibility to fix.  I want a job where I don't need to wear a shirt and tie, where my mind is stimulated and I get a sense of satisfaction of my job being completed.  I want a job where I am not trying to figure out how to get of going into work, and when my day is done, I can go home without dreading going back the next day.  I don't want to work with lawyers, but i want to work with people that respect my opinions and there is a positive attitude in getting the work done.  I want to work in an environment where problems are dealt without going to HR, and its dealt right away.  I want to work where management actually work to improve a situation or solve a problem, without blaming the complainers, have the attitude of "what can we do/what do YOU want done?" when some issue is brought up, and talking down to people when they explain why they are too lazy to do their job and lead.


I'd love to do writing, and internet related things.  I'd love to write about what's going on in tech, soccer, or MMA, or whatever I wanted and what I am interested in.  I'd love to get paid for my writing.    I'd love to do anything that would include my passions.  Only thing is that I need help.  I need guidance to find a job like that. 


This is where I start to grovel and beg...I am not too proud to at this point


Please, if anyone reading this can help with suggestions, potential opportunities, or anything to help me find a job I can love.  Please contact me and let me know