by Peter Marus

I was thinking today about The Diaz Brothers.  They are Nick and Nate Diaz, two MMA fighters who are showing lately that they are one of the best in their divisions, and the sport overall.  Nate Diaz faught last Saturday and won.  I was trying to figure out if I like them or not.  I respect the Hell out of their skills, especially their BJJ games, but their personalities are pretty polarizing

Both come from a broken home, and found fighting as a way to earn money and keep themselves out of becoming criminals.  They have the focus as fighters where they come off assholes, but after seeing a special on them, I get why they do.  Both of them have the mindset that once a fight is made, they hate that other person.  By hate, I mean they are focused on beating them, to the point where they get angry at the person, regrdless if they have any hatred for them otherwise or not.  Their attiude is "why should I be nice and cool with them leading up to the fight, if I am supposed to battle them?"

I sort of get what they are thinking to a point.  They need a purpose to train harder to beat someone.  That sometimes comes off as them being assholes.  What I don't get is that these two guys already use training and teaching BJJ as a purpose to better themselves and keep themselves out of trouble.  They are already tuned to battle, why do they need the extra motivation?  I read a lot about how when they aren't in "fight mode", they aren't that bad of guys to be around (I'd certainly would love to train with them once to learn from them).

If their purpose is to be who they are to get away from whatever is in their past, I can understand that.  Most artists, martial artists, comedians, musicians, etc. do what they do for a purpose.  Some to express the pain they feel or expel those feelings, some as an alternaive to another negative vice they are staying out of the grip of, but they all do it for a purpose.  Many top entertainers aren't the best off people emotionally or are form a good situation, so they need what they are good at as a purpose to live.  I respoect that when it comes to the Diaz brothers, I just wish sometimes they shouldn't "live the gimmick" too much and show how martial arts has helped them in a positive way.

I've been wondering about myself lately and what is the purpose of my life.  I have things I know I have to do, but I don't see them as a purpose to live.  Don't take this as I'm suicidsl, far from it-I got a ton to live for.  I have wondered why God put me on this planet in the big picture.  What really got me thinking about this was from "The Matrix Reloaded" scene between Neo and Agent Smith when they first speak in the movie (right before the big fight scene), and what the Agent Smiths said I think puts in the right light what is purpose:

"It is purpose that created us. 
Purpose that connects us. 
Purpose that pulls us. 
That guides us. 
That drives us. 
It is purpose that defines us. 
Purpose that binds us." 

Purpose to me is what we are supposed to do and what is supposed ot happen to us.  My Dad used to say he asked God why I was born with cataracts, and why wasn't he the one had the affliction. I've always looked at my situation as it giving me purpose to work harder to prove i'm just as good as poeple who could see, and gave my parents a purpose to ensure that my sister and I were raised up right.  I know that there was a purpose for my ankle being busted like it was, which oddly helped me appreciate soccer even more and led to many in my social circle now (from going to Metrostars/RBNY games and being a member of the ESC) and helped me find and go to Penn State,  and I know the purpose of going to BJJ is to better myself physically and mentally.  I just don't know what my purpose in the larger picture is.  

Or I'm just not supposed to know that, just live and it will happen

Or, I'm thinking way too much.

Who knows