I think it’s time to be honest about the job situation and some of the attitudes of people in this country, particularly in my circle. I am really at my wits’ end as far as this job search. It feels like a great pressure on my head. I had an interview with a temp agency yesterday, and I’ll probably keep in contact with them as much as I can. I should also hit up some other agencies at some point as well.
I spent several nights up the entire night going through all the job websites looking for work. At this point it’s not even looking for anything in particular, but anything I may fit I will apply to. I'm also trying to get the most out of linkedin.com as well, and if anyone wants to connect on there look me up. For the most part I think I have my profile done up the way I want it to look. I'm still debating if I should add the position “Content creator-Petemarus.com” to it. I also need to get recommendations as well, which to me is weird to ask for. Just odd that I would ask for it. I should “man up” and do so.
Ironically I do this because I can’t sleep due to the overwhelming thoughts about myself in the situation I am in, so I figure use the energy to look for work. I'm not just overwhelmed mentally, but sometimes physically as well. I almost have panic attacks and feelings of being overwhelmed on occasion, sometimes out of the blue. It’s not a crippling thing, just something that slows me down during a short time. After one of the more recent ones, I stopped thinking about the current situation I am in and started getting frustrated and really delving into some honest facts about what is going on and what is making it frustrating.
First of all, I really would like, deep down, to make a living writing. I want to monetize something that people say I have a knack for. I wish I got on this sooner, but I was also doing the opposite of what people said I should be doing due to a good part of my live having that happen due to my afflictions. I really wish I could figure out a way to make a buck off my talents.
My dream is to at some point not have a job where I have to wear a tie and put a BS front at a job like I had to in the past. I really don’t like that, and would rather just be me, and get the job done. I never understood how a shirt and tie, or even a suit, suddenly was required to get the job done (or at least look like it is). No matter if the job got done, my fashion sense shouldn’t be a factor. I also never got the whole “Yeah, you got the job done, but how you got it done isn’t right to me, so I have a problem” mentality some places have. If I get my work done, then you should have NO reason to say word one about it other than “good work” or “thanks”.
I especially never got why an HR department is needed beyond payroll, benefits, and hiring duties. At my last job, the manager who ducked me and anyone who wanted to talk to him, used the HR guy as a literal shield between me and him when he decided to put me on probation. The punk would not talk to me before hand if he had a problem, whereas myself and other went to him or his sidekick/the rat in the department and said exactly what was the problems we had with him. This BS of “professionalism” and respect for the other worker has to equal keeping your mouth shut about problems or telling a mediator is what really bothers me at most places. What should really happen is that you go to the person you have an issue with and go “Hey, I have a problem with you, this is the problem, what are we going to do about it.” From there you either talk out the problem and figure out what to do, or you leave it at “I don’t like you, I don’t like what you are doing. You stay out of my work as much as you can and I’ll do the same”. How hard is that? But, with the pussification of America, we need people like the work place is a damn Kindergarden, telling people what they can’t do (usually there’s never what you can do if you’ve ever noticed) and being a nanny to grown adults.
HR departments are one real source of my frustrations about my job search. These people will put up either fake or misleading job postings to get resumes in, just to look like they are doing their job and justifying their positions. The position usually is legit, but the requirements are usually lower than what they want, so they get more resumes in to look like the position is in demand. Not only that, but companies like to now have online applications, which sends you to a site where you have to “sign up” before you hand in your resume. It’s not a special club or anything, but they want you to put all your info in their database so the HR guy doesn't have to interrupt his Facebook time or that Solitaire game and actually do some work. Its also a way, I think, to collect data for marketing and unsolicited mailings from people they probably sell your info to. Remember when you just gave in your resume, and they looked at it? Now with their online “club” they make you sign up for before sending your qualifications, they don’t have to do anything and the computer chooses the candidates for them. Why bother looking for something on it that may stand out, the computers know all!!!!
I HATE this setup. I spent one time a half hour jumping through these hoops with one company, and at the end the system timed out, lost my info and started me over. Another time, I clicked on the link to a job posting, it brought me to their job portal, and after clicking on the “continue” button on the page, I got internal server error pages. If anyone out there is reading this and do handle job applications for a company via a online database. MAKE SURE THE DAMN THING ISN’T BROKEN!!!! I never applied to those jobs. I figured if the application process is handled like a joke by these people, then that must me the mentality about everything in that company.
Now onto the last thing I will rant about: you ignorant morons who have had your jobs for 25+ years who don’t know what’s going on. You people make me sick, and I have to hold back from causing you harm when you open your mouths about how things are. You guys probably sold yourselves, and your families, out to keep your job at some point. Some of you jackasses even said “I am where I am from being the alpha male and taking what I want.”
Quick rule of thumb: anyone who says how alpha male/female or powerful they are, really aren’t. They usually are the spineless cockroaches that somehow survive and get lucky with their pathetic and cowardly way of living.
These dolts are the ones who tell me:
“Just get a job, it’s not as hard as the everyone says it is out there. I'm sick of people complaining there aren’t any jobs.”
Listen idiot, the real unemployment rate (which includes both the announced and those who aren’t in the system-like me) is nearly 20%. You think all those people on the train near you in their suits are going to work? No, they are probably going to an interview for a position that they applied to but may not even be there. And seeing that job websites like to rub it in that there are so many people looking for work, they now put how many people applied for a job after you apply. That surely puts my confidence on a high seeing 250 people applied for the same position.
WIth so many people applying for the same job, I at one point decided to get creative style-wise with my resume and was encouraged by one person who has been working for decades to do something unique. Yet as soon as that person, who hasn’t had to look for work since Reagan reviewed it, they said “you should just stick to the standard resume, thats the safest option”. I honestly got that frustrating feeling where you start to have tears in your eyes and you feel your head turn red and hot.
At this point I started to just point the finger at these people for being idiots, and any information they try to give (good intentioned or not) is irrelevant and outdated. It’s further compounded by the fact that some of the people who do try to help me are the type who didn’t even have to go through the hiring process in the first place. The only application for work they did was “Mommy/Daddy, i need a job. Call your friend/old army buddy/someone who owes you a favor and tell them I need work”. What the Hell would they know about getting a job if they didn’t have to earn their spot in the first place, but just have it handed to them. It’s almost insulting when they try to relate to me in my situation.
Another word of advice: Don’t try to be at someone’s level when you still got the nosebleed from being above them or the dirt on your shoulders from being beneath them.
I think I have said my piece. I should try to make some cash off my writing, and also be flat out honest in any introduction or letter I send to an employer. I should just rip up my resumes and do them in a style that would stand out.
To those who are still looking for work like me, keep plugging away, but also try to find creative ways to relieve the stress. Maybe you’ll find a way to get paid doing so.