How I prefer to be contacted, and how I prefer to contact you

by Peter Marus

Many who have dealt with me may have noticed that I limit myself as far as way I am contacted or contact people.  Best case scenario, I like meeting face-to-face with people.  It’s the best way to communicate and each person gets to see each other.  Most of my communications though is usually texts or emails.  I picked this up from a lawyer I used to work wit.  I like this form of communication because one has a record of the conversation, so that if there is an issue or accusations of lies, the proof is “written down” somewhere.  I have been burned by this in the past, but I also was helped in situations as well (one situation saved my job, and the company I was employed by thousands of dollars-all because I kept the email form the other person stating the agreed settlement).


Notice I mentioned phone calls.  I have a thing about talking on the phone.  All my life I never “talked” well on the phone.  I don't know why, maybe the disconnect of voice to a physical person I am communicating with, or I can’t really tell what is said is truthful as far as how that person’s body language is when they said what they said.  I can’t explain it, but most people mention I am two different people from when they talk to me on the phone to when they meet me or read what I write.  Maybe I’m better communication in a “visual” sense than an auditory one.  One caveat about this is when it comes to video chat, either via Apple’s FaceTime or Skype, I'm fine. Even audio only Skype chats I do well with.


As I said, this isn’t a modern thing, but I've always struggled with a phone.  I always hated calling people, it feels like an intrusion.  I rarely pick up my phone, only if it’s an emergency or I’m waiting for a call.  I let it go to voicemail then figure out what to do next.  I use texts or emails because I feel that’s more convenient, and the person can contact me when they can or want to.  I like having a minute to think about what I'm going to respond with, maybe do quick research on the subject we are talking about.  I think texts/IMs/emails make for better informed and honest conversations.  Face-to--face and video chats may seem like a phone call, but seeing the person makes the conversation a whole lot different.  You get to see reactions and body language.  Phone calls you only have one avenue of communication, which can lead to distortion of the value and meaning of what you are talking about.  Most modern forms of communication either give more levels of communication, or a mechanism that tries to at least minimize that distortion.  


I know I'm not the only person who thinks this way or act this way.  If you need to contact me don’t “call” me, but text, email, IM, or Skype/FaceTime me.