Last week I was at the supermarket and as I was at the check out line, I noticed the bag person. He was either completely blind or really hard of sight. I noticed how he was bagging stuff, and he had a little struggle doing it and putting the bags into the cart. He got it done, but he had a little difficult time finishing it.
I didn't help him. It wasn't a reason of I'm above him or anything. It was a reason some may not understand. I didn't want to help because I was not sure if he wanted it. He may not want someone helping him and taking away a sense of power and purpose. He has enough that was taken away from him, why take another thing away?
I know this really well. I was blind once, and I felt I had a lot of a "normal" life taken away from it. I had people do a lot to help me because of it, but a good amount of those times I didn't want or need it. I didn't want it because I didn't want to be reminded I had a problem, and any "success" or feeling of accomplishment to me would feel hollow because I had help, where others may not have. I also didn't want to be treated or felt like I was different. Its not a good feeling to be singled out that way.
That's probably why I am where I am now. I haven't really asked for much to get work. I did the same the blast time I was out of work. I want to accomplish it, but I feel I should by myself. I know its stupid of me not to ask, as well as frustrating to those around me that I don't or haven't asked. I know I need help, I know some of you guys who read this could and can help me somehow, I just suck at asking, and to be honest I am uncomfortable asking, almost admitting I cant do it myself.
I need help, how do I ask?