Can't sleep....gotta write

by Peter Marus

Been a bit hasn't it? 


ill start off with I should take a day off from work and have a "wacky day".  A day where I unwind.  For a while now I've been a bit too uptight, with the stresses on me.  I should take a day and just "shut off" the brain and just go do something stupid.   

Speaking of stress,  I'll repeat this: don't wish cancer on anyone, it's a shitty thing to watch someone battle, let alone have.  I've had to experience watching on the sidelines and it sometimes takes a lot out of me.  But a positive thing of it is it shows me how tough a person can be, and it's a toughness we should aspire to be.

What sucks about some situations I am in is the lack a control I have in them.  As someone who has been labeled a control freak, it's tough.  I need to work on focusing my time and energy on thing I am in control of and not sweat what I can't.  Believe me, that's one of the hardest things to say to myself: I'm not in control or can control everything in my life.

A couple weeks ao, my cousins put my late Aunt and Uncle's house up for sale.  It was sad to hear about, since I have a lot of memories in that place (I'm sure not as sad as my cousins having to do it),  I saw an online listing of it complete with pictures of the house, and a flood of good memories came back seeing each room in pictures.  Funny part is most of the house I either never saw, or haven't seen in almost 30 years.  It was still a nice trip down memory lane.  

My goal of having a new job comes up at the end of June.  It looks like a tough goal to reach, mostly due to me and mental blocks I'm feeling, but it's something I'm working to achieve.  I'm going to try a more proactive approach and take more advantage of LinkedIn.  Hopefully the job hunting mojo starts to build and I'll have a job that's more fitting of me, and one where I am not working for crumbs or feel so out of place. 

The mind of a person is infinitely stronger than the body.  I hope I can get my mind to feel and harness its power.