Selfish day.

by Peter Marus

Wednesday I did something for the first time I have done in almost two years-took a day off for myself.  When I took a day off before, it's usually due to someone or something other than myself.  Usually is a medial reason or something I need to take care of for someone else.  I chose this time to just do something myself.  

Yesterday actually started the same time I would start if I was going to work.  I will say that when one doesn't have an obligation to take care of, starting the day is so much better.  Between 6-9 am, I was super productive.  Had breakfast, did my job search thing, and by 10 I got everything I planned on doing done.  That was a great feeling.  

After that I left the house and traveled around the area.  I decided to go to Jersey City to the mall there, just because.  After that went back into midtown and walked around looking at some spots I like to go to. Finally went home, watched soccer and played video games.  It was an awesome feeling.

After all this I concluded a couple things:

-My productivity goes hand in hand with my impatience.  I like to get work done as soon as possible, and the morning is the best time for it. Get it done when less people are around, and it gets done fast.

-Job sites are just a hive of spammers.  The amount of BS emails and calls for sales job I haven't approached as skyrocketed.

-The entire day felt like a Saturday.  I got what I wanted done in my time, didn't feel rushed, and didn't have my job somehow hovering above me.  I miss Saturdays, and my goal is to get a "regular" job where I have Saturdays again.

-My dissatisfaction with my job is more about how I am better than it, and my frustration with where I am has grown a lot.  I'm not bitching about the job, just more it was good for a bit, but it's not something I want to do anymore.  I don't want my job to be controlling where I almost have to beg to get time off.  I should be able to do my job without any interference from or because others not doing their job.  Lack of control of some of my life that way is maddening to me.