I was going to sit here and write another one of my “I’m going batshit crazy” entries about my current situation, but I won’t really. Last night I was talking to someone I have grown to care about. Listening to this person and the situation this person is in, I was sad and frustrated. Sad in that this person has gone through a lot in their life, and it seemed as if today they can’t get really ahead in life. I was also frustrated, in that this person has given me a lot of smiles and happiness this past month or so, and I wish I could help out and rectify the situation this person is in. All I have been able to do so far is take this person out and listen to the problems they have been going through, but I wish I could do more. When I got home, I started thinking about myself and where I am, and I really got depressed. I haven’t been able to get work and lately I’ve felt like a failure and a parasite, where I should not be living off of others.
I would like to mention that there are some positives in my life lately. I completed the NY State Security Guard license 8-hour course, and Thursday I go start the 16-hour course. After I complete the 16-hour course, I can look for work in the Security industry. So far I am excited in this aspect, but a little nervous in that I hope I am not wasting my money and time, like how I feel sometimes about my college degree. I guess we will see in the future, huh? I got a call about a resume I put in recently at an insurance company in Manhattan. Ironically the place is in Wall Street. It’s not a temp agency but a full job. I plan on going into this interview differently, in that I look at interviews with companies that aren’t temp agencies as that they want to hire me, and the interview is just the chance to confirm that they want to, so there’s no real pressure on me. I just have to reflect what is on my resume, and I’m in.