by Peter Marus

I got a bunch of text messages last night that was from someone that obviously having a good time out drinking, given the time of the texts and the perfect grammar/spelling that is oh so common with someone who was partying hard. It said “O my Mexico, these tools ruined come sail away, yowzers” This is all the proof I needed to say “Ah, this person is drunk”. First off, “Come Sail Away” is a Styx song. The original song (as is most of Styx's catalog of music) was garbage. I ask you how can a garbage song be made any worse? As influential as the 70s were in music, there was plenty of music that accelerated the death of rock in that time period, either due o the greed of record companies signing anyone just to make a quick buck or just the drugs and chemicals finally taking it's toll on the performers. Hopefully this person woke up today feeling the remorse and shame of thinking a Styx song was any good in the first place. It reminds me of the greatest bit “the Simpsons” did where Homer (in a retelling of "Odyessy") had to cross the river Styx. the next scene was him on a raft going through Hell to the sound of “Lady” playing in the background, and skeletons air-guitaring to the song. Homer then screams out “Oh, this truly is Hell!!” Yes that is the soundtrack of hell; shitty 70s acts and boybands 24/7.

Speaking of mind altering chemicals, I was rolling around the internet looking at some of the news of the world, along with the conspiracies out there these days. I read some stories I remember reading in college in the local paper. It proves how dumb drug dealers are. Look up “meth” and “Marijuana” on the DEA site and look at how dumb, but funny, people are. I remember stories in college on TV of people in HAZMAT suits in the middle of farmland putting out fires that were the result of a Meth lab blowing up due to the moron running it right forgot to do something. This stuff is made with anything that can kill you, put together and boiled, and somehow made to get you high. Also meth heads like to take a part things and build things while on this stuff. One dealer made a model rocket to fire out of his car if police pull him over. He did get to try it but it failed. Most meth dealers get caught buying all the materials in bulk at one time from the store. This is also the same stupidity as the pot dealers getting in trouble for having huge bright grow lights and hoses running into all points of the basement for irrigation, and massive power bills, no to mention said lights make a glow that you can't miss from the road. It amazes me what lengths people go to get high. This is why I feel the government should legalize some drugs to help make sure people don't get killed with crap like this, and get some revenue form taxing the hell out of it.