by Peter Marus

This week made me realize that I really do not fear a whole hell of a lot. I was on an elevator that suddenly came to a sudden stop, and even dropped slightly. It took about 45 minutes for the mechanics to get me and the other guy out of the car. Later that day I ran into the mechanic and he mentioned how amazed he was that I was so calm and not freaking out. I did realize the whole I could have died thing if the elevator car fell during the whole time, but it didn't make me nervous or anything. I just hung out in the car (like there was anything else I could fucking do in an elevator car), and eventually it got over with. I was actually more worried that my job wasn't getting done with me in the goddamn elevator.

A couple days later, I was talking to a good friend of mine about a situation she is in with her boyfriend. At one point she brought up how out-of-shape she is when the guy does things “to make her feel better”. I brought up that she may be intimidated by guys like that (and me), who are ones who actually follow through with what they say. See, I come to the realization tat women are taught form the start to always treat whatever a man says is a lie. When someone like me comes along and actually shows that I am not bullshitting them, that scares them and knocks them on their asses, and therefore makes them feel intimidated by me. That makes them have to step up and prove themselves that they are deserving of me. Many have tried, but none have yet to take full advantage of the opportunity.

This leads me to the last point i wanted to write about. I have been noticing that some from my past see to be snooping around her and other places to see what's up with me. Yeah, I got my ways to find out these things. Granted this is a “public” thing for all to view, but I still find the fact that they would do that a tad creepy but more sad and simply pathetic. I don't pine over my exes, I can care less what is going on with them. For all I know thy could be having a train pulled on them every weekend. One could say that maybe they are just still interested in me and want to see how I am doing. Really? so that's why they told me to piss off when they did, or they didn't do what they should have done to keep me around them. Maybe they are just fans of this thing. That's fine provided that they realize that they are nothing more than a stat to me reading this.

I think some of them are looking at this and looking at my myspace profile since they miss me, and realize that what I told them, that I am the best man a woman could ever have, was right. And after going out with boys who are at best second-rate, they want to see if they have a chance to get back with me. Well, just to save some people some time, don't bother thinking that and piss off. You had your chance and you only get one. For some reason we are not talking, and there is nothing that is going to make me talk to you again. One of my biggest mistakes in my life was to try to see if something I thought was so special could be re-sparked, but it ended in a clusterfuck that put me in a position where several relationships of mine were really strained to a point where I still feel absolute anger that I let it get to that point, but it really forced me to re-evaluate myself. I will never take anyone back anymore. Like I said, you only get one chance with me, make the best of it. Anyone who wants to challenge this is open to do so, just be warned that I can and will take things, and those who know me may not like what I would say, but shouldn't be shocked that when pushed I could be vicious and take things to levels that can scare me.

Oh, and those who thing I'm trying to be funny with this post, I ain't fucking joking. I'm being serious today, and those who don't take what I said seriously will find out how serious I am. I mean it when I feel that I am the best man a woman can ever have. It's not being cocky, I know who I am and where I am.