by Peter Marus

What a shock, things are going well and then something bad just HAS to happen. I was supposed to have a face-to-face interview in Jersey about a temp gig. Well I get a phone call that says the project I would be working on was pushed back and the interviews are postponed until things are settled, which means I’m fucked and that’s probably not going to happen.

I had my TSA test this morning, and almost fell asleep in it. My god, it was so boring and pointless. The first part is 400 true or false questions, but they were really only 150 that were repeated over and over (probably to see how consistent my answers were). After that, there was a test on if I can see certain things in X-ray images (they showed examples on screen for 20 seconds and then showed several x-ray images of bags and I had to say if what I was looking for was in there or not). The third part was a set of blocks and I had to choose from a set of 4 others to see which is of the examples, only rotated. So it was like I was playing Tetris!!!! The final part was grammar/reading comprehension tests. It was supposed to be a three-hour test, but I was done in less than 2 hours. I don’t know how well I did on it, but I really wasn’t trying too hard on it to tell you the truth.

I don’t know if I want this job if I were to get it. Seems too much stress and bullshit to go through on the job, but apparently the benefits are OK, and given the lack of options I have now, I maybe forced to take this job. This whole day has been like the whole time I’ve been without a job. Fucking hell. I hate that now I may be forced to do some thing that I have no choice to do. I have immense pressure now to do well and get my ass into gear, and with that and all the issues and emotions I’ve held in for so long, it’s really taken a toll on my mentally and physically. I am rally getting sick and tired of people trying to encouraging me with those canned, but probably well intentioned, responses of “don’t get discouraged”, “don’t worry, your luck will change soon”, etc. WELL WHEN AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL BAD OR ANGRY ABOUT MY SITUATION THEN?!!?!?!?!!?

Oh well, it’s my problem; you’re just here to read about it.