by Peter Marus

I have a great honor coming to me, at least I think it is a great honor. I was asked to be a Godfather to a future child. Some people may just blow off being a Godfather like “yeah, I’ll do and just to get that ceremony over” and not really thinking about it. I am taking this honor somewhat seriously. Being a Godparent is like being the next important teacher after the parents and grandparents. I am being asked to look after a child’s development and help mold this kid into something “right” for this planet after the parents do the main work.

I am looking forward to help out, but I am sure some of you are thinking “with all the shit I’ve said/done in life, why would someone want me in this position?” Also, after reading some of my theories I put up here, what constructive things can I teach a child? Well, knowing the parents of this child, I can tell you this kid will be brought up “right” and given the surrounding players in this child’s life, along with me, this child will somehow end up running things. Then again, knowing all these people, it could also be a mess when everyone’s ideas of teaching the child about life may contradict each other. Either way it should be fun!!

I already wanted to start influencing this child’s life. Knowing that the kid is going to be a girl, I thought I would make a CD so the mother can put headphones to her stomach, and instead of playing classical music like it’s suggested, play some Indigo Girls, Melissa Etheridge, and K.D. Lang, Why these artists? So that when the child is old enough, the parent’s will her the four greatest words a father can hear to make his life easier: ”Guys, I’m a Lesbian”.

Now, after reading what I just wrote, I am now convinced the decision to ask me to be the Godfather may not have been easy. I’m guessing it was the future father blurting my name out, and the expecting mother going “you want HIM to be the Godfather?!??! HIM?!??!” And then there was a long conversation and she allowed it.

All joking aside, and as much ball-busting I do to the guy, I’ve never been more proud of the future father. He’s stepped up and really gotten himself together as far as the whole soon-to-be-a-dad thing. It’s good to see him do this despite the many that have had doubts about him, but anyone who did doubted him really didn’t have a damn clue about him and what he’s gone through to get where he is today. It’s really cool to see him excelling at this.

See people, I can be sentimental, Don’t worry, I’ll be the vicious ass I usually am soon.