Funny what you can learn from movies. My cousin and I were talking about “A Bronx Tale” last night, and the famous test for guys to try on their dates to see if they are worth asking out. Long story short, it's when the guy opens the passenger side door for the chick, she gets in. He closes the door and walks around the car. The test is that if she leans over to unlock his door, she's a keeper. If she doesn't she's not worthy of even another date. If she is selfish enough not to open your door after you take her out, imagine what other selfish attitudes does she have? She's not worth it. It's amazing that every time this has happened when a chick wouldn't unlock my door, her selfishness came out not long after and things fall apart. Now it's at a point where if she doesn't unlock my door, i may not even call her after the date, it's that accurate of a test.
Now onto something that I have came up with after some thought. I emailed this to a female friend of mine who thinks this is a harsh attitude to take, but I think it's a right attitude to take not just in a relationship, but with people in general (but it's written geared more to relationships, it can be applied to all people in life). I know it may seem out there and harsh, but hopefully after reading this you may understand it better. You are entitled to your opinions, but understand that after all I have been through in my life, and taking the time to think this through, I feel what I am about to say here is right.
First, take into consideration that every woman, either consciously or unconsciously, hold guys to a standard that they have to meet in order to earn things from the woman (sex, companionship, dates, etc.), This has been going on since the beginning of the species. Women always measure up a guy in a way that tests their ability to provide for them, if their genes would make a good offspring or a genetic disaster. Modern times also throws in the idea of monogamy so the question if he can be a good partner for life. Women, whether they know it or not, will always hold men to the standard they know they want a mate to meet, and it is always the guy's job to sell himself and prove themselves to the woman in order to earn whatever the woman is offering. Now guys are generally scum and will say whatever it takes to get what they want, and women always call them out to do what they say. If the guy does what he said he was going to do for her, he is rewarded (maybe a date, sex, whatever he was asking for at the time). Now if he fails, the woman punishes him by taking away something that he earned form her (why do you think withholding sex is done?). Or she may find all his talk was just that and drop him like that and it's supposed to just be accepted.
I think it's time for women to live to the same standards they put on men. I mean if this is the time of equality for women, why can't this be included? Why shouldn't the guy be able to hold women to that same standard and reward/punish her accordingly? Take me for example and how I am going to treat women and people in general form now on: I will talk to a chick for a while, and after a certain amount of time and after hearing what she has to say, I may reward her with a date, but still take whatever she said with a grain of salt until she actually proves to me she means what she says and does what she says. If she does and acts like how she said she does, I may reward her honesty with another date. If she doesn't live up to it and I call her out on it and there is a problem with it, she is punished by me not calling her for a bit or just dropping her altogether (maybe just leave right then and there and go home-has happened before). As far as I am concerned I am in the right since she could have done the same thing if the roles were reversed.
Now lets say things are going well and there's no stress or anything and me and her are going well. I'll get the flowers and candy and stuff not to try to win affection from her like most guys do, but to show her that I appreciate what she has done so far. She has been honest with me and hasn't led me on in any way, so I reward her for it. She may do the same thing to appreciate what I have done as well. What happens over time if she does lead me on or messes up by not living up to her "hype"? well i could punish her by not giving her the attention she got before or just go "bye, nice knowing you" and ending the thing. Why waste my time if she isn't giving me what I want?
I know what you're thinking: what about love and the feelings related to love? Oh it's still there, the butterflies in the tummy, warm feelings, and all that. Just that to keep them going one has to give what the other wants to make them satisfied. True love to me is two people who know what they want from the other and gets it but also giving what the other wants equally, without any deception or stress created by either one. I felt that once, and I really want it again. It's a powerful thing and probably one of the most powerful and dangerous drugs in the world. Christ, look at the dumb shit that is one in the name of love? All that is the equivalent of crackheads who are so desperate for love they would do anything just to get it.
If it means I have to roam the earth looking for it for 50 years, I will. If I never meet someone who can give me this, so be it. The important thing is I know what I want and I will never be the spineless, pussy starved and whipped boy, that I see a lot of. You know who I am talking about, the guy who would sell his own mother out if it meant he got laid. the guy who will flip flop on his beliefs just so some chick would smile to him. I will never be that guy, and as I said if it means a life of solitude and emptiness, I am prepared for it,