by Peter Marus

Ok today I am going to talk about the two types of people I run into in life: those I can get along to have/thrive under, and those who irritate me and do nothing for me usually. These aren't just friends ad past relationships, but anyone I have ever met. I decided to write this list down so see what patterns I have found myself in, and maybe learn what to look for and avoid in people. I write this to help me remember it (most things you write down/read are more likely to be remembered than just told and tried to commit to memory). Forgive me if this seems a little disorganized, I listed these during the day today and I'm to lazy to better organize it. After reading this, maybe you'll see why I am either loved or hated in life, but honestly I like it that way, keeps the BS to a minimum and things simpler

Without further adieu:

People I tend to like, get along with, and succeed with or under usually are/have:
-Honest
-Knows what they want, and are more concerned with the “endgame” and do what they can to get it, no matter what
-Has a set core of values they won't change, will be open to compromise or adapt their other, less-mandatory values
-”Black and White” view of the world, no gray area in their logic
-If they say that they will do something (even promise to do something), they will make sure that it is done
-Whatever they do, they focus on that and what is happening around them in the “now”, and all their other problems or issues are put on the back burner.
-They “Want” to do things, and only do things they “want” to do, not do things they “have” to do or feel like it's required or obligated to do
-commit to things/people till the bitter end, and not back track, cop out, or BS their way out of it
-When they need to make a decision that involved others, they will talk it over so all are on the same page with the decision, whether the other people like the decision or not.
-they talk to people with the respect the person deserves in the situation
-explains everything so everyone involved is on the same page
-knows not to take advantage of one's patience
-only questions someone in order to understand what is going on
-knows and accepts all the responsibilities and consequences of one's actions and words
-takes their problems, work to solve it as quickly as possible, and then moves forward from the problem
-always looks at the “big picture” in life and keeps a level of positivity

Now for what the “other” people I usually dislike, not really like to deal with and will be trying to get rid of from my life have/are:
-a lackadaisical attitude to life
-no core values and will bend to the needs of others without fail
-only think about themselves and their problems without being considerate to the others around them.
-”drama queens”
-lack of maturity
-can't see past their noses
-blow off responsibilities to others they promised, but at the same time they want you to keep your word
-mislead people and back out of things without taking responsibility for misleading people
-assume things about others when making decisions that affect others but won't discuss things with others first
-show up or do things because they feel like they have to, rather than want to, then get upset when it shows they are half-assing it
-”want their cake and eat it too” mentality
-make things more complicated than they should be
-”What about me?” attitude
-talks down to people like a child
-expects others to have infinite patience with them, but they take advantage of that
-questions others in order to criticize things when they are not how they want it
-almost never takes responsibility for their actions/words, passes the buck to others or blames circumstance rather than themselves.
-wallows in their problems and misery, lets the problems dictate how they live their life, and just hopes it goes away rather than work to solve it.

I am sure you have met and know people like these two. I personally would rather associate with the first list, but I am sure I have fell into the trap of the second from time to time (who hasn't), but as I said, those in the first list will always work to get themselves out of their funk, while those who are associated with the second list will just stay there spinning their wheels. I want to get those who fall into the second list out of my life. As I said a bunch of times, I have a limited time on this planet, why should I waste my time with people who don't make my time and effort feel valued, and just take advantage of my generosity?

Summary: I want to be associated with others who know what they want and are willing to honestly work for what they want, and don't want to waste my time on those who are self absorbed with themselves and their baggage, and do nothing to improve themselves, and all they offer me is drama and stress. If I offended you, tough deal with it. I f I made you think about those who you associate with, good. Maybe you'll do some “friend cleaning” and get your life more streamlined and stress level down.

Does this make sense to you? It does to me.