by Peter Marus

I think I am getting sick, and I am not happy. My throat is feeling bad, I think I am getting the sniffles, and I felt like garbage all day today. These hours don't help matters, but it is what it is. One thing I was looking into lately is getting rid of my Netflix and going and getting an Apple TV ( read about it here: http://www.apple.com/appletv/). It's just more convenient, and not that expensive if you look at the rentals and if I want, purchases. Also means less room taken up by DVDs. I know Netflix has their new set-top box to compete with the Apple TV, but I like Apple products, and it's one of the few brands I am really loyal to.

Watching the Champions League final this afternoon ad enjoying every bit of it, I felt good about my decision to stop following the top division in england altogether, and look for a lower level team to support. Haven't made a final decision, but I like Watford FC. Still open to suggestions, so if anyone want to sway me one direction or another, have at it. The reason I am doing this? First, it's just as easy to follow a lower level team these days as it is a Premier League team thanks to the internet, and also I think it would be more interesting to follow one of these teams.

Finally, as I said, I was looking around Craigslist for comedic value and to see how creepy some of the personals are. I thought of one I would put up to see if I got any hits. If I were to put one up, it would go like this:

Giving an opportunity to a woman to meet a fantastic man, but you must fit the criteria here or you are are wasting yours and mine time, so don't bother responding if you can't meet my standards;
-need to be between the age of 25-35.
-White or Latin only. I don't hate Asians or Blacks. I just am not attracted to them. Besides, I have a better shot passing a Latina as White, saying she's Sicilian....because the Moors did invade Sicily....
-Need to be able to at least not be offended by brutal, “mean spirited” comedy. If you think Brian Regan is edgy, don't bother responding. you may not like my sense of humor
-You need to keep in mind I am a man, and if I do or say something, don't laugh it off or doubt me since I will prove I am right. I want you to show me respect and treat me as the man, not a lapdog or a second class citizen. Any lack of respect shown to me in that manner will be considered a direct insult and a waste of the opportunity you have before you.
-Any baggage that you have from your past should be checked at the door when you and I are doing something. If you do have a family issue or problem with someone from your past, don't have it so that you are so consumed by it where it takes you out of what we are doing. If you do, you are wasting my time and it would make me feel disrespected, and could lead to you being left at where we are (the mall, movie, etc.) If you are so worried about these stuff, call them for a ride home since I refuse to waste money and gas on someone that has no class.
-You must also work and put forth an effort in this relationship to fully take advantage of this opportunity that is being offered. I believe in equality, where both people work equally to make things work. Should I feel if I am doing more than I should, or if I feel as if I am being blown off or you are playing hard to get where I am chasing you, keep running and go away. You will not be missed.
-One thing that shouldn't have to be mentioned, but I will just for honesty's sake, must have decent hygiene I should not find out that you have what would be called a “gynecological disaster area”, where for some reason I am reminded of the Jersey Shore at low tide (or worse, the crab fishing grounds if the Bearing Sea). If I am able to keep myself in decent shape, so should you.
-Bonus if vanity isn't the top priority, I hate shallow people. Also if you are humble and know where you stand in this world, that also is a plus. Don't ever think that you hold any higher ranking/status in this relationship or in the world in general. I will take you down a peg and if that is not liked, there's the door, hit the bricks.
-Finally you must at least respect that I enjoy the following (and bonus if you enjoy them too. But if you try to stop me from enjoying these things, I will stop you from enjoying me and leave you): Soccer, Football, Baseball, Video games, watching TV/Movies, Opie and Anthony, Ron and Fez, Apple/Mac, Rock and Rap music, and may other things I can't think of off the top of my head, but will come up at some time. I will respect your interests and I demand you do the same.

So if you want to take this opportunity up and find out how much of a sweet, sensitive, teddy bear that I am, shoot me an email. Include a pic of you, and not just of your eyes and/or face, I am well versed in the “myspace magic”.

I think I would get a ton of responses if I did ever put this up...I am what every woman wants!!