by Peter Marus

Well, Easter has come and gone, and I've never felt so old!!! I got to see all my cousin's kids and they are growing up. I can remember when they were all first born, now they are growing up and mobile. just amazes me how much time flys by (though all of it is much when I think about it). It was a good time seeing all me relatives, but it became a real downer when I read the score for the US match, where they havent' won in Mexico now in over 24 matches

my computer is still on the fritz, and that's really got me aggrivated and sad. it seems lately that everything thing I do, goes bad, and what I do to try to fix it makes matters worse. I was so frustrated I almost lost it and just threw out my computer. The entire day today i've been stuck thinking and doing something to my computer and it's got me so worked up, I was in just a pissy mood and took it out of others, shouldn't have done that but it's better than me putting my hand through something like a wall or window (which was close to happeninng several times today)

People keep telling me I should let others help me in my life, but I can't. It's a thing with me that drives me. This past several years have been the first time I've actually been in control of my life, and I want to be in control. All my life I've had someone or something (eyes, ankle, etc.) force me to give up some control in my life, and that's something I never was comfortable with. I know I should let othrs help me, since doing things on my own hasn't gotten me anywhere, by my mind says it's better to do it myself and fail, than have someone else in charge and fail...This is something I have to sto thinknig like, but I gutss I'm stuck in my ways.