OK today's entry is a culmination of a long period of issues. I now have a pretty low level of respect for women right now. No it's not going to be a bitch fest here, at least not intended to be. Let's start with tonight as the best example.
I was talking to a woman tonight on IM. This is the second time we chatted, so it's at the “getting to know you” stage. So we start talking, ad she is almost not giving me anything to go with as far as a conversation. So I start ask her questions about different things. I start with what kind of movies she's into. She gives me this “too cool for the room” answer where she only really sees non-mainstream movies. So we start to talk about that a bit, and she's only giving me short sentences, not really expanding on whatever we are talking about. So at this point I'm pulling teeth here to get a dialog going. So I start asking about some other subjects, maybe we can start talking more about something else. Needless to say that sometime IM is not a good place to ask some questions, where my questions didn't translate clearly and I had to deconstruct what i am asking.
So this all isn't going anywhere, and since she seems like one of those people who like deep thoughts, I start asking about some philosophical subjects to not only maybe hit something interesting to talk about, but also get to see how her mind works. Then she gets all “why are you asking me all this, what's with the random questions, you need to chill”. So let me get this straight, I am trying my best to get to know her, but I'm doing all the talking. I”m trying my best to get something going since she is bringing NOTHING to the table but short answers and vague responses, but I am the asshole asking things most people tend to ask when they want to get to know each other, and even try to show a little depth in my thinking and attitude. Fuck her, she' not worth my time.
That brings me to my overall thinking about women right now. I said a while ago my life is now being lived in the idea that what I do now is nothing more than investing my time and energy into things that I feel will get what I want out of it and get in return what I invest. If I don't feel like if I am getting what I feel I deserve out of it, I'm done with it since why should I waste whatever time I put in to get nothing. Life is a limited span of time, why waste it on things that will bring frustration and nothing good to you. When it comes to relationships, I have no problem with ending something that I feel is not healthy or beneficial to me. I had to do that a few times recently, and even though I was looked on as the bad guy, I look at it this way: Women have done that in the past to me, and they tried to make it out like they decided that it was best for us. I tell them the same thing, and if they don't accept that explanation, I just tell them that I don't want to waste my time on her, since I don't feel it's right for me to feel any stress or frustration over this, there's much more bigger things to worry about than some chick that isn't putting in the same amount of time and effort as I am.
I”m not going to tell you here what I want as far as a relationship goes, since I can't put that into words, but I do know that all I ask for in a person is someone that equally puts in the effort that I put in. This is obviously on top of the fact she agrees with my core ideals and wants in a person of the opposite sex. Needless to say it seems that my pool of potential dates/mates seems to be drying up. If it does, oh well I have other things in my life that can keep me busy. Love and relationships are nice, but I really don't need any of it to feel my life is complete.
Ladies, prove me wrong......wait only 3 of you read this, and that's almost half the people who read this in total! (see ther's some comedy in this entry!)