by Peter Marus

I was going to lunch today and reading some f the articles on the AP news app on my Iphone, I realize that maybe in college I should have gone to college for a Journalism degree. I must say before I start this,, that a family tradition continues: I found a Yip’s Chinese Restaurant by my job. My dad loved the place when her worked downtown (in fact I may be going to the same one he went to), and I love it as well. The food is really not that healthy, but goddamn it it’s delicious.

OK, back to what I started to say; I have been told I had a gift of writing and creativity. I also was always fascinated with the media and it’s workings. I did try to get into the media by way of TV/video. Don’t get me wrong; I enjoyed learning and working in TV. But lately I find writing and being creative with words and trying to paint a picture with said words more satisfying. I also find on an emotional level writing has more of an impact, because I am not using a picture that can distort a message. Many people reading this and also some of the emails I have written have told me that they can feel whatever I was trying to convey emotionally. It sucks I figured this shit out now, but I guess that’s life. I’ve always said that life puts you in situations and places where you are supposed to be.

But at the same time, I know that I would either do well in writing in the media, or would be an outcast. The funny part is either result would be due to the same reason-my brutal honesty. I’ve read numerous stories about writers being fired because they wrote something that was negative about a sponsor or of their product of their magazine/website, and it was because the writer did their job: gave their opinion on what they felt about something, and used facts to back it up. There were a few guys with balls to back up these writers, but most are gone now and the editors today are just bitches to sponsorships and interest groups. It’s a nice thing to daydream about. I used to actually write a column for a website, but had to stop since the message board I also posted on would make the ideas I had for my column seem dated and it seemed like I was just rehashing my posts of that week into one column, and to me that felt like cheating, both myself and the creativity and whoever read my column. So I phased out writing my column and haven’t written another one since.

Like I said earlier, a much as I like to dream what would happen if I did go for a journalism degree, I know the choices I made in the past and where I am now is where I am supposed to be. I’m cool with that.

As cool as I am with things now, I still feel like there’s a void in my life. It’s been there for a while and as much as I try to fill the void, it either never does get full or it will be full for a moment but then it gets emptied. It’s not like a depressed feeling, but just one of that there’s something not right or broken. It could be the season, it could be that I’ve lost a lot of things that have made me happy lately as well as over the past several years, or it could be a combination of all these things. I can’t put a finger on what it is but I’m sure something will come along to fill this void and make things “right” again.

Still, given the situation this world is in, I really have nothing to complain about. I know people in worse shape, so I’m not saying everything is falling apart or my life sucks like some drama queen (trust me, I’ve had my share of them over the years). As how things are in my life, I know that there are even worse, unhealthier situations I could be in.

Finally, as far as what I said when it came to my tattoo, I have it narrowed down to what I want to get. Let’s just say I think it’s going to be a animal head, a religious symbol, a Chinese symbol, or try to come up with something original about myself or family.