by Peter Marus

SO far I am in the middle of my vacation and things are going well. Getting the rest I need, and getting the things I needed done around the house. Most importantly I am feeling a hell of a lot more peaceful and focused. This week I hope to get all I needed done and just take it easy. I was thinking of going to the soccer game at Giants stadium, but I don't need o deal with that. I sold my ticket to someone and hopefully they get it in time (I sent it priority mail this morning, so we'll see).

I picked up Jim Norton's book, “Happy endings”, and so far it's a fun little read. It has made me feel better seeing that someone's inane bullshit is fun to read. I am guessing that mine is to some, but I don't' know and in reality I don't care. I just write here to vent, not to entertain people-that is an after affect. Makes me think that some of the shit I write here would work in a book or podcast or whatever...that would work if I was more famous and actually had something to talk about.

As far as my stupid podcast idea, I am still in the early stages of that. I have a program to do it, but I am not sure if I need more hardware to do it like an audio mixer. I am not paying for more hardware to do it, since it' snot something serious and if i get bored with it I don't want to feel like I am wasting money. I did find out I may be able to do it with two people via AIM, assuming they have a mic to talk into and a computer that can be used for audio conferencing. I need to test that out with someone some day.

There was something I noticed lately when it comes to people from Long Island, New Jersey, or wherever in the surrounding area of NYC. I noticed that a lot of them aren't as dismissive of people they don't like. They seem to try to co-exist and be somewhat friends with them rather than stop talking to them all together (assuming one didn't really hurt the other). I just find that interesting since I am one who is not and almost never friends with ex-girlfriends or people I don't find anything interesting about them. I guess the people from the suburbs almost have to because they all live in the same community and have to see each other all the time, so they have to figure out how to be civil with each other. In the City, it's easy to “lose” someone and not talk to them anymore since the size of the population and city makes it almost easy to do.

I'm not saying it's a bad or good thing, just find it interesting. I can't see the idea of staying friends with someone who doesn't give me all that I want, or if they were dishonest with me. I see going from dating and possibly having some feelings with someone to just friends is like going 100mph, hitting an emergency brake and slowing down to 50 mph-it's not the same, feels awkward, and cold potentially damage all those in the car. Maybe that makes me a bad person, maybe that makes me bad for relationships. I don't know if that is true. I do know that what I feel and how I go about myself feels right, and that makes me feel justified in how I act and what I say.