by Peter Marus

Well, like most things I’ve done in my life, my car failed inspection. Wanna know why? The “check engine” light was on and that fails a car now in this state. So I spent $120 to get the computer code cleared but I have to wait a couple days to get it reinspected again. Everything else is good on the car but this thing. To make sure that it’s all good, I have to drive my ass around all day tomorrow.

One thing I noticed was how the schools in the area were set up. Talk about spoiled brats!!!! First they are setup like college campuses where like every subject had their own one floor building, green lawns, clean walkways, modern buildings (probably with ultra modern equipment inside). And on the far end is all these sports fields that are kept perfect and have all the PC safety crap (padding on the equipment, sawdust and woodchips on the floor, etc.) And on top of it it’s all open, no real gates, perfect for the kid-touchers to just walk in and be like a kid in a candyshop. There’s security, armed only with a walkie-talkie, something that naturally strikes fear in the most hardest of punk kids.

When I was a kid, you went to school, but it was one building that was a crapshoot if it’ll still stand by the end of the day, one gym that was the auditorium, basketball court, dancefloor, meeting room, and finals testing room, and the annex that looked horribly out of place with the disaster called a main building. And all fenced in like the prison some of these schools should be. You could play in the parking lot at recess which was the abrasive asphalt that was like a cheese grader when you fell on it. The only playground was the park across the street. Now that was a real park; cement under the metal swings and slides, rusted over chains on the swings, sharp edges everywhere…something to really toughen up a kid. The ball fields had no grass…just rocks and dirt. And if the ball goes into the street through one of the several holes in the rusted out fence, it’s usually the busy street where everyone goes at least 50 MPH down it. That was the real fun game….find the ball under the car and get back to the park before that delivery truck with the diver hopped up on coke hits you. And all over the park, you have a chance of falling on a needle, used condom, a homeless drunk. Security was full-blown cops all around not afraid to smash a kid’s skull in if he got out of line or mouthed off, and if he’s asked about it the cop can just say, “Well, he fell playing on the swings”.

Speaking of getting hit by cars, there have been a few people killed the past couple days by hit-and-run drivers. Mind you some of the accidents were the result of drunk drivers, and most of these people didn’t deserve to die that way, but I bet you could chalk up to “thinning out the herd”. I drive down Queens Blvd. (known as the Boulevard of Death”) and I see these old people with walkers just walking out against the light and expecting all 12 lanes of cars to just stop and let them through. Word of advice, if you need a walker, do NOT act like that will deflect the impact of a full-size car or truck like it’s a shield deflecting an arrow. I swear, I don’t stop if I have the green light anymore at intersections, I should not be responsible for the death of someone too stupid to realize that flesh and bones will not survive when it gets hit by steel, plastic, and aluminum. My favorite are the parents who take their kids along for the chance to cheat death, especially when they have the kid so that if a car hits them, the kid gets hit first. What the hell parenting is that!!! Smart if you ask mine, but that’s another story.

one more thing: I would like you all who read this to please leave comments/smartass remarks. I'd like to know (as a former NYC mayor used to say) "How i'm doin'?"