Man this whole week has been nothing short of a clusterfuck so far. It seems with the move to the new place, and the fact that the old big building is moving out, that means more and more meetings/conferences are being put in my building. The past couple days has felt like I was trying to fit 10 lbs. of shit into a 5 lbs. bag. On top of my usual work, the meetings that they schedule for my building are “in-house” ones, where I have to make the coffee and supply everything. Problem is that these take time to setup, and when I have two of them, and two other setups form catering companies, not to mention my usual duties, it's almost getting out of hand. Luckily yesterday I was able to speak to one of my bosses, and he assured me that things will be taken care of if things get out of hand and as far as extra supplies to handle the extra load. But despite this small amount of good news, I still have had to deal with equipment not working, and just people not doing that they need to do as well as having some odd attitude.
On top of all this crap, last night was the straw that broke the camel's back and has had me in a bad mood all day. Long story short, I was told that something that has been going on the past couple weeks was based on a lie, and I was sold a bill of goods. After getting this news, it made me think about a lot of things. In short I came to realize I am a problem. See this person who lied to me hasn't been the first, and in all honestly it is no different than all those I dated in the past 2 years. All of them have told me they had to stop seeing me because of either some career issue, issue over an ex, or one even went as far as saying about their sick family members and their job. In reality I have come to realize that these are all excuses to get out of things with me. to add insult to injury, they lie to me saying how i am a great guy, how cute and funny I am, etc.. Really? Am I? If so, why the hell are they quick to get rid of me if I am so great?
the past two years in all my dating has had one constant-Me. Therefore I have come to the conclusion that I must be the problem given all that has happened. I figure the best way to solve this problem is to take the problem out of the equation. I am taking myself out of the equation of the whole dating thing. Not to find myself or any BS like that, but because I”m so burnt out of all the BS. I”ve tried so many ways to tackle dating/relationships, but it has all either been wrong or not good enough, so why even bother anymore?
How long will I stay out of the loop? Who knows. Maybe a short time, maybe forever. Thanks to those who have contributed to me making this choice. (I know some of you still read this) Good job people! Should be proud of all you have done and get a sense of joy out of it.
So like Pink Floyd sang about, the Walls are going up. Friday night I have a bottle Jagermeister in the freezer to help me celebrate this decision, and maybe help me forget how much of a nightmare this week has been. Hell I might put on “The Wall” just to listen to it.