by Peter Marus

Tonight, I will be giving my impressions of the three minutes I saw of TV most classiest show “The Real Housewives of New Jersey”. Finally, a show that makes “Dog the Bounty Hunter” look like the Cosby Show:

-Look at these fucking gindaloons!!!!
-What a shock; there’s women with big hair, shitty makeup, and slutty fashion sense in Jersey
-Apparently the Escalade, BMW, and Mercedes has replaced the Camaro with T-tops in Jersey
-Along with that line, fake tans, “Dragon Ball Z-like” hair, and anything with the ITalian Flag has -replaced the Mullet
-The only guys on this show are the typical “tough guy” that in reality are just a bunch of twinks if someone stood up to them
-You know what’s sad? these are the assholes who probably bitched about the “Sopranos” being a negative representation of the Italian-American

So there ya go, my in-depth analysis of a show I only saw a part of while I was getting a drink of water in the kitchen. Also, good to see two of my theories still gold up: first, New Jersey is the same as Long Island, just without the class. Second, anyone above I-78 in that state is just a descendant of an immigrant that couldn’t cut it in NYC, and below are either carneys, hayseeds or immigrants that couldn’t cut it in Philly.

Finally, not to stoke my ego, but I came to a realization today and it made me smile and feel proud of myself. I had an offer from the Devil at one time. The offer had everything I could ever want, but the price of it would have had me losing a lot more. To be honest, I almost took it but then I decided to play hardball. The result, the Devil flinched and actually called me selfish then stormed off. I don’t regret doing what I did, and I am actually proud of what I did.

May not mean much to you, but I thought it was cool.