by Peter Marus

Ever had the feeling that everything you got you may lose in the next unstant? That's how I've felt for the past week. Maybe it's just me, maybe because I'm so neurotic about things, but I feel like I can lose all I got and I don't know exactly to do. I feel that I can lose my friends, the things I love and enjoy, and who I am real soon. Don't ask me why I or when or even how this all came up, but I've been sitting up at night, barely getting more than 5 hours of sleep at night thinking about everything. All that I can come up with is that everything that puts a smile on my face is only around hanging on a string, and that string is going to break if I do the wrong thing. Like I said, maybe it's because I'm naturally a worrier (I come from a long line of worriers, so this is for the most part how I know to live). Maybe t's just the stress with all that's been gong on lately, considering that some of the most important things in my life now I"m in limbo about....hasn't helped my situation lately.
Right now I'm at a crossroads when it comes to many different things in my life, and I don't know which path to take, since both look like they are probably filled with land mines that I would have to dance around (much like the many roads in my life that I've danced before.) All I know is that I have to make some decisions and will have to live with them. In reality, I shouldn't worry about anything. I mean, I've made tons of bad choices in mylife already and I've had to live with them, so it's not like it would be the first time I've gotten the short end of the stick. Oh well, maybe I should just take the attitude of most of the morons out there in the world (who also happen to stumble upon the better paying jobs and careers) and just coast through life with the ignorance of most of the 20-35 year old voters have/going to have this election season.
Anyway, tomrrow I go into a temp agency to ave my interview/tests tomorrow. Should be fun, I've been reading all my books abot Microsoft office today, and messing around with the programs (thank God Penn State gave away free software to it's students whrn I was there, got like $400 worth of software for free....and it was all legal!!!). I hope that I do well on these tests and impress these people so they could get me a temp gig.