My mom was in the hospital for a bit due to a really bad infection on her foot. It at first wasn't too bad, but it got worse to where the doctor told her to get to an ER. She went (despite my urging to go sooner, but she wanted the doctor to tell her). After leaving the hospital, I didn't feel my overwhelming worry or fear this time. I felt calm, felt relieved she was there and getting help. It was the first time I felt that with her and her afflictions. She's home now, and still have to get IV antibiotics daily for a while, but I don't feel too worried. This experience was a lesson and an exercise to not let worry and overwhelm me. I need to try to take this experience and internalize it and apply it more and more.
The other thoughts occupying my mind is work. Looking at me resume and work history I see I average 2-2 1/2 years at a job. It seems odd for someone who's been told all his life you work somewhere for decades, being loyal to the company.
I realized looking back at why I haven't stayed for so long is that at every stop, I made it as far as I was going to go. That's for one reason or another, but I make it to the ceiling and either keep banging my head into the ceiling or just losing the drive to do the work I was doing for that employer. So I make a business decision to leave and go somewhere else. It's debated how that looks, but as I have said: I don't have a piece of the company, so I'm just a mercenary doing my job. If I am not getting what I feel is fair compensation-money or otherwise-then I have a right to go somewhere to get that. I don't see a problem with that.
Which brings me to today. Actually this brings me to 6-8 months ago. The job I have now I have done as much I can, and since the money and quite frankly respect is not where I feel it should be, it's driving me to move on. I am right now looking for other opportunities. My age and experience has me focusing on places where they don't strive to be mediocre or strive to stay mediocre. I am tired of getting the "lower rung" jobs or companies. Those places aren't worth my time or energy at this stage. My last few jobs were the epitome of that. There's no challenge to move forward, but usually a fight to stay from regressing.
Maybe I'll find a place where I will stay longer than just 2-3 years this time.