by Peter Marus

I've been moving forward with life since my mom's passing.  The past three weeks have been a blur.  After the funeral, I just jumped back into work, getting the house stuff done, and getting used to living with my now fiancée.   

My job has been the same, but it's now six days a week (it's been six days a week for months).  I know many people do that much a week, but those people also are paid well to compensate for it, and usually have a better schedule daily to make it work.  My schedule is 11am to 7 pm, which with trace means my "work day" is 9:30-8pm.  That leaves almost no time to get a lot done, like looking for better jobs or even have time to sit back and get my head straight with my feelings and thoughts on my mom's passing. My "day off" feels like another work day getting errands and a weekend worth of stuff done in one day.  

I'm starting to feel the effects of this.  Like I said, I really haven't had the time to sit back and get through my head and just the simple idea of feelings of her loss.  When my dad died it was almost the same thing, and it wasn't pretty.  

Its not like I'm going this alone.  I'm lucky my sister has helped out a lot with the stuff that needs to be done.  She's been a rock for me the past few weeks.  My fiancée also has helped with the house and getting it more set up "for us".  They have been invaluable in this time.   

Mad far as my career.  I don't want to settle anymore.  It's like buying clothes: settle with the bargain labels usually leads to disappointment, frustration, and just a feeling of being a waste of time.  Same is for companies you go to work for and find yourself in a company that's not "your level".  My past couple jobs have been that way, and I'm sick of it.  My career move is going to aim for better places to work with people on my level.  I busted my ass in school to not work for companies who seem to strive for mediocrity or just happy with "good enough"  with their work, while trying to keep their image up.  Or companies that, quite frankly, are full of people with their heads up their asses and wouldn't know if they should shit or wind their watches when it's time to step up.

All I have to now is find time to do my job search.  That's hard standing in a store all day and with only a smartphone, which limits my options for looking and applying for work.

That's my update.