by Peter Marus

Tonight i just wanted to write a couple things before I hit the sack. I just have a couple things on my mind tonight that I cant' sleep until I get them out somehow.

First, lately I have gotten emails from someone that was special to me, until things ended badly a few months ago. Short story short, my heart was crushed and it made me question a lot about myself. Well she writes to me telling me how she misses me and wish I was still around to talk to (that's all she wanted from me, friendship after telling me she wanted more weeks before). She then tells me how much that although things didn't end on the best of terms, she still uses what I told her and what I talked to her about in the past to help her get through some of the hardships she is in and what led to things going sour. The led me to think about how much of an impact one has on others lives. You may not realize this, but whenever you talk to someone or do something to/for someone, you are making some form of an impact on another's life. This could be good or bad, but none the less you impact others. Just think about who you talk to and what affect your talking to or doing things for does, it is amazing when you think about least to me that is!

I know that I like to help others and it does get me hurt or taken advantage of, but when I see what my help or talks do to help others out, I find that to be a great feeling and know that I am a powerful person and that my words and actions have some form of an impact on others. Don't believe me? If you know my family members that I helped out in the past, they will tell you what my help has done for them. I still get called a “saint” in some parts of my family. I learned this from my father, who did a lot for others just because it's the right thing to do. He told me that whatever you do for others, it will be rewarded back to you. He was talking about the idea of Karma I guess, but whatever, it's something I believe in and have seen first hand work.

I don't know about you, but I am having a hard time getting used to the amount of darkness there is this time of year. For some reason I have been feeling a little down due to the night being so early, and I find myself thinking it's much later than it really is. From what I understand, this is fairly common so I'm not too worried about me losing my mind.